Smash play below for the soundtrack-needle-drop experience—Perkins-approved melancholy with just enough kitsch to keep it weird.
🟢 Prefer the full experience? Cue the soundtrack on Spotify as you read.
Face your demons. Or at least stare them down under low-wattage childhood trauma lighting.
This Monkey’s Got Daddy Issues
As I mentioned in my far more positive, strangely popular review of last year’s Longlegs, Oz Perkins’ films tend to be uncomfortable watches for me. Not that they’re overtly scary, but because they so clearly function as unfiltered excavations of his own personal trauma.
His dad, the iconic Anthony Perkins, died of AIDS when Oz was just 18. Nine years later, his mom was aboard the first plane to hit the World Trade Center. His movies bleed this pain, and watching them sometimes feels like uncomfortably eavesdropping on a private therapy session.
Whereas Longlegs explored the sacrifices one makes to protect those they love, The Monkey fixates on the inevitability and randomness of death—just look at that poster art tagline—how, why, and elusively when it comes for us all.
But backstory aside, does The Monkey work on its own terms as a horror picture? Not really.
I’d heard in advance that the film leans more toward dark comedy than straight-up horror. Maybe it’s my inability to separate this from Perkins’ own baggage, but I just couldn’t find that much to laugh about—even if some of the kills are so gleefully absurd and wildly over-the-top that they’re clearly begging you to chuckle along. The problem is, they play out far too rapidly, while the film’s pacing is so languid as to frustrate genre fans looking for a solid dose of tension and carnage.
The lighting says slasher. The face says existential crisis.
Wait, Wait, Wait…. What Movie Am I In?
No shame, really—I could probably watch Theo James wash dishes for twice this picture’s length and still emerge a happy man. (Casting agents: If a gender-reversed remake of Jeanne Dielman is ever in the cards, take note.) But James simply feels miscast in his dual role as terminally depressed twins—one jittery and insecure, the other a mulleted, malignant narcissist rendered so profoundly unattractive that the on-set hairstylists deserve an award for their work in achieving the unthinkable.
It’s not that James isn’t a capable actor; he stretches himself here well beyond his typical wheelhouse and fares mostly well. He just feels like a square peg for this particular material.
Also, delaying his actual appearance until the back two-thirds of the movie? A choice.
If character development won't draw blood, at least the SFX crew sure will.
Death, But Make It Decorative
The film’s short story roots are very much on display—and not in a good way.
On the kill front, yeah, gore hounds will get their occasional fix. But to build horror and suspense, the audience needs something—anything—to be invested in. And with virtually zero character development outside of James’ dual roles and their younger counterparts, we’re left with next to nothing.
90% of the kills are of nameless characters who barely exist long enough for us even to register their faces before getting turned into crime scene decor.
So what’s at stake, exactly?
“What if Cujo had a toy drum and a grudge?” (James looks for answers that never come.)x
King-Sized Expectations, Short Story Stakes
It’s unfortunate because I was genuinely looking forward to The Monkey—especially given King’s well-publicized, effusive praise for this adaptation of his short story.
It’s a solid concept, but feels woefully underdeveloped. Oddly, it takes an unceremonious place among the most middling of King's screen translations.
A curious tonal misfire, and unless you're a die-hard Perkins devotee, there's little reason to let this monkey on your back.
UNCLAIMED PERSONAL EFFECTS:
+ 2 points for the framed, embroidered sampler on the wall reading, “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people,” mere seconds after an unattended shotgun renders someone spaghetti sauce
+ 1 point for Perkins giving himself an onscreen exit so undignified that it feels like a personal dare
+ 3 points for the real danger at Benihana not being the flying shrimp
- 5 points for the biggest jump scare being the reveal of James’ twin’s late-stage haircut
📊 [PLAYBACK: PERFORMANCE]
Budget: $10-11M Worldwide Box Office: $69M
Cinema DEFCON Threat Assessment: 43 Days — Theatrical-to-Streaming Window
Verdict Surprisingly strong box office, buoyed by baffling critical praise. Stuck around long enough to justify the hype—if not the haircut. Just a few days shy of earning DEFCON 3 status. Proves yet again: horror sells, even when the laughs don’t land for everyone.
🎬 [PLAYBACK: TRAILER]
Trauma has a new face. And a toy drum. The redband trailer pulls no punches—and lands a few cheap shots too.
