Welcome to SINephile
For people who know better—and still press play anyway.
How SINephile Rates Movies
So you’ve found your way in—happy you’re here.
If Machete don’t text, then SINephile doesn’t do stars. Because… meh.
Instead, every review here comes with two distinct ratings:
One for how the film shapes us. The other? For how its release strategy shapes cinema itself.
Judgement:
A verdict on caliber and impact—10 levels, ranging from heavenly ascension to the Ninth Circle of hell on the SINemeter.
Think stylish thumbs-up… or way, way down.
Cinema DEFCON:
A cheeky threat-level index calling out how quickly films ghost theaters for streaming, thus hastening the extinction of moviegoing.
Nicole Kidman didn’t endure heartbreak in heels for this—let alone in an Oscar gown at an AMC during a rainstorm in the Valley.
Because here, it doesn’t.
(Don’t @ me, love her!)
DEFCON 5 = Cinematic sanctity preserved
DEFCON 1 = Already on your cousin’s iPad
So, What’s with the Name?
The name’s a wink: half devout cinephile, half heretic to the canon.
I pair prestige cinema with pulp melodrama, Palme d’Or with pop trash, and I believe the most revealing double features are often the most unhinged.
If you’ve ever wondered what Black Narcissus and Showgirls might have in common, or better yet are appauled at the prospect, you’re exactly where you belong.
Came here for calculus or kink? You’ve likely taken a wrong turn—but stick around, the movies and the stories surrounding them will be wild.
Welcome to SINephile.
This isn’t about lowering the bar. It’s about widening the screen.
How This Place Works
Over a century of cinema.
No gatekeeping, no homework. Just the stuff that slaps—whether it’s the latest blockbuster destined for streaming two weeks after release, or a black-and-white gem languishing unrestored in a vault somewhere.
Here’s the way it’s all organized. Think of it as the cinephile syllabus you actually want to finish.
Now Showing
Your regularly scheduled programming. Reviews of new films, cultural takedowns, and whatever may have just re-entered the conversation.
Musical accompaniment supplied for your reads at the top, a sign-off with the trailer at the bottom, featuring performance metrics, and slapped with my SINemeter and DEFCON scores for a little added fun.
See what’s pulling focus in Now Showing →
Playback
Revisiting the canon—sideways. Some rewatches just hit different. Some films get stranger with time.
This is where I check back in on so-called classics, personal favorites, and the undeservedly forgotten or sadly undiscovered to see how they hold up now. All with the same loving treatment as new releases.
Dig into the vault (and the algo) in Playback →
Split Screen
Unprecedented film pairings that may seem blasphemous at first glance… until you realize they complement each other perfectly.
Yes, really:
Blue Velvet & Barbie
The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant & Mannequin
The Seventh Seal & Final Destination 3
Some are deep dives. Others are flashes of the absurd. All are designed to make you see something new—even if you’ve watched them a hundred times before.
Pair chaos with craft in Split Screen →
Crash Courses
Short, sharp explorations into genres, movements, and disciplines that shaped the medium—and how they still echo in the movies of today.
Choose a topic and you’ll be better informed than the other 99% within a week of watches.
Think of these as your curated cinephile syllabus—with no reading list required.
Get schooled (gently) in Crash Courses →
Ctrl+Alt+Decode
Here’s where things get a little messy—in the best way. Ctrl+Alt+Decode is the place I break form:
List essays, cultural reframings, and critical dispatches that pull focus from the screen to the systems that surround it.
Sometimes I interrogate a trend. Drag a sacred cow. Or just need to trace a weird throughline no one’s talking about.
Not a review. More like counterprogramming.
Chase the tangent in Ctrl+Alt+Decode →
Cinema DEFCON
Because how we watch is changing fast—and not always for the better.
Theatrical windows are collapsing. Streaming platforms are snatching exclusives before the popcorn’s even stale. So I’ve introduced a satirical threat-level index for every film’s post-theatrical fate.
It’s part industry trendspotting, part gallows humor—and fully committed to tracking what’s being lost along the way.
Follow the threat levels on reviews and in Cinema DEFCON →
PICK YOUR POISON
From prestige pulp to messy masterpieces.
Short guides to genres, movements and the art of cinema.
A cinephile DNA test. No apologies.